Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Ode to a Discontinued Facial Cleanser

Oh #904, *sigh*, alas, you, too have gone by the wayside! How I loved your faint perfume of weird white glue paste my fellow kindergartners used to eat that I enjoyed second hand whiffs of. Your heavenly aroma brought me back to that bittersweet time of finger painting, naps on mats, sand play and PB & J. You left my skin feeling youthful and dewy, like a baby's ass covered in rose petals. I'm left feeling as though my hair stylist has moved out of town, vulnerable and sad.

One of the suckiest things about being in the minority retail preference-wise is that often things I love are discontinued. I know this happens to everyone, and I am a little paranoid by nature (hey, even paranoid people have enemies) but to me it seems to happen a lot. Or maybe it's just my negative Nancy side popping up like an evil gopher, since of course MOST things I buy are still around, blah, blah, blah, SHUH'-dup!

Items in point - yummy smelling White Lilac scented Tide (although it still might be out there but I couldn't get an answer so far by trying to use their sucky site), the thicker-denim built-like-a-brick-shithouse Lucky jeans, Sensation Totale from Lancome, Aveda Hair Elixir, Gatorade Berry Blast and now the facial cleanser I REALLY loved from CO Bigelow is gone, too. Though I was laid off this week, I am more sad about losing one of my most valued creature comforts. (This of course is totally facetious, which comes naturally to me as an emotional defense mechanism to ward off the horrifying reality which might only serve to send me into a downward spiral, resulting in me putting my head in the oven, which, considering it's an electric oven, would not serve the purpose of ending my desperate life, but could quite possibly catch my hair on fire, but while we're on that subject, perhaps I should clear out the garage so I can pull into it and keep the car running - one good reason to get a jump on spring cleaning!)

While horrible attrocities plague the planet, I mourn for an extinct personal hygiene product. Man, does that make me sound vapid or what?


  1. You're right to be concerned about your "products". However, I'm more concerned about you loosing a job!!! Good thing you have this blog to fall back on financially. Should I start making casseroles to bring over?

  2. Geez. I'm sorry, Ladybug (yes, I called you Ladybug-- why cuz I wanted too). That sucks. More so the lay off than the discontinuation of your products.

  3. It's a weird correlation, me feeling kinda discontinued. But, like the cleanser perhaps I'll find a job I like even better!